Why is it so hard to keep disciplined?

Obviously if I haven't written anything since February, there's a problem.

It's not that I haven't had anything going on. It's just that I have not been disciplines enough to pause long enough to write.

Maybe that's the really problem--pausing. I'm always in such a rush. I find very little time to pause... very little time to linger.

It's like I've always got something important I've got to rush to. It's like the next moment is somehow more important, more urgent than this moment.

Maybe that's why I miss so many moments.

Why am I so undisciplined? Maybe it's because I haven't learned to linger. I haven't learned to pause. I haven't learned to rest.