A Little Frustrated

A little frustrated. I've tried to push through. I've tried to ignore it. I've tried... but it hasn't gone away. Funny how that works. Well, not really funny, but pretty predictable.

Here's what happened. A couple of weeks ago I went out for a 9 miles tempo run. Felt pretty good, but sometime during the last mile my lower right leg felt real tight--along the inside front of the calf. Soon after that--after the run was over, and everything--my right knee felt funny. It hasn't gone away.

The frustrating part is, now I'm having to take this week off from running. And hopefully that will be enough. Oh, I'm doing all the regular stuff--ice, stretching, and all that. Hopefully that'll be enough for it to heal.

It's taken me four weeks to get to this point. Like I said, I tried to ignore it... push through... hope it went away. It didn't, so now I've got to deal with it.

I've noticed I have a tendency to do that with a lot of stuff. Maybe it's not just me. Maybe it's a part of human nature (at least it makes me feel better to think so). The sad thing is when I start to do that with my spiritual life.

It's kind of like God puts this abrasion--this pain--in my life to point out some flaw, or some character quality that God wants to work on. I try to ignore it... push through... hope it goes away so I can get back to life as usual. But God doesn't want "life as usual." God wants Christ-likeness--and that's far from usual.

I wonder what would happen if we were to pay closer attention to all those little "pains" in life that come our way? What would happen if instead of avoiding them--going the other way or ignoring them--what would happen if we took the time to really examine them... see if we can get to the root of the pain.

You see I'm starting to figure that out with my running. The pain in my knee is not from my knee. It has to do with tightness in my calf and/or my hamstring. Even if I could get rid of the pain, if I don't take care of the root problem (the tightness) the pain will come right back.

Perhaps some of the same sort of examination is needed in my spiritual life when the pains come along. Maybe I need to look past the pain to find the root. And maybe it's there that God waits to do a deeper work in my heart.

It seems like I've run in all kinds of weather this winter--rain (lots, and lots of rain), snow, cold, and ice. That's one thing about running is when you're out there, you're out there in the middle of what ever the weather throws at you.

Sometimes it gets pretty old. Last week I just said, "bag it" and went down to the gym for a work out. I kind of felt guilty afterwards. Kind of like I cheated. I think maybe that's another quirky thing about running--part of the experience of running is about being in the weather... good or bad. There's no way to escape it. And there's a part of me that doesn't want to escape it.

Oh, certainly sometimes it sucks. Sometimes I think it would be better to be inside, on a treadmill or a bike or something. But then again, when it's over... when I look back... I think if I had gone inside I would have missed something. Even those times when I grumble because my feet are soaked and may fingers are cold, there's something special about being outside... running.

I think a lot of life is like that. I'm certain a lot of religion is like that--hiding instead of engaging. But really, if anything, religion should not be an escape from the world. It should be a means to engage the world around us more fully. To often, though, I think it's more like going to the gym for a more comfortable workout instead of heading off into the rain for a run.

Kind of sad, but I have a funny feeling that we're missing a lot by doing that. Maybe I need to head out for more runs even when there is snow on the ground. Maybe I need to figure a way to make my religion more of a way to engage the world I live in than a means to escape it.